There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
