i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
