im about as happy as oj after his trial
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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