no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
