Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
