Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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