So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
