you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
