You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
