i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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