I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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