I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Randomize
