he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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