I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
