Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
