I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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