Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
