For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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