she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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