can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
