UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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