when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
