i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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