i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
