she was so not down for the gang bang
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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