Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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