I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
