Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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