Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Randomize
