is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
