everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
