just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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