Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
