your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
