I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize