My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Michael Bay diarrhea
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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