uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
did i walk over a car last night?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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