I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
