nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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