Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
