she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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