Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
