Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
