go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
