new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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