so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My vagina is officially offended.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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