I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
