We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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