But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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