hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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