i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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