Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
