I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
