Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Randomize
