did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
