We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So I just went to clothing optional bar
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
