I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
