If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
