So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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