Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
