i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
