I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
