this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
