Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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