If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
