Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
